Sister Wives

The other day I was bored and decided to watch Sister Wives. I'd seen clips on Perez Hilton and thought these people must be crazy. I figured I'd settle into an evening of watching the freak show.

Boy, was I wrong. I actually ended up totally understanding why these women picked this lifestyle. Now, I'm not about to go join the Mormon Fundamentalists, but they made some very interesting points.

One of the wives never felt like a homemaker. She was always a working woman. But how does a working woman have children, a family, and care for them properly? Well, her sister wife takes care of the kids after school. They have a place to go that doesn't involve an after school program or being home alone.

Another one of the wives wasn't able to have more than one child, even though she had always wanted a big family. But the other wives' children became her children, and she had the big family she always wanted.

Sure, the wives felt jealous when the husband brought on another wife, but they had decided that overall this lifestyle served them better. If anything, that just made them even more real to me.

The saddest part was at the end of season two when they had to leave the state they were residing in because they were worried they would be prosecuted. I guess when they decided to "come out" and show the world that not all people who picked this lifestyle were pedophiles and claiming welfare benefits, that they could actually be modern and be providing a good family life for their children,  they asked the state police if they would be prosecuted. They were told that the police didn't have time - that they only would go after families if they were committing statutory rape or claiming things on their taxes they shouldn't. Well, the day after the show premiered, the police started an investigation.

This depressed me so much. These people had nothing to hide - they were showing it on national television. Their kids all seemed happy and had great relationships. They seemed like normal kids! The parents worked, they were normal, modern people. They weren't claiming anything illegal on taxes, and they weren't claiming welfare. He was only legally married to the first wife. So what was he doing wrong? Because he had lived with the other wives, they were considered common law married, and so he was committing bigamy.

Here's the thing that bothers me the most. Our country is changing. We are realizing that a family doesn't always mean two parents and their children. Parents divorce and families get blended. Gay people are getting married and adopting children. Why is it that this idea of a family isn't recognized? How can a man and family who isn't breaking any laws get put into jail, while others go free all the time?

As our country changes, we will need to rethink these laws anyways. As gay marriage becomes legal in more and more states every year, does that mean that two women who live together are automatically common law married? How would that change roommate situations?

I just think people need to start being more open and less judgmental, especially when people aren't doing anything wrong.